We sat there as the hours passed, somehow satisfied with wasting our time in a haze. I won’t ever forget the few short months I shared with him though, for some reason those remain some of the most prominent memories, sitting smoked out and laughing about all the shitty things in life we knew we could never change… Those days were the days that picked me right up off the floor, they brought some clarity to my clouded mind. I will probably thank him forever, I know I wouldn’t have made it too far without him.
Him and I had an unspoken but acknowledged connection with one another, one I can say I have never shared with anyone else. We treated each other with a mutual respect and understanding that I crave to this very day, what a dream it would be to have that again. To be understood, I will tell you, that is the best thing I have ever felt.
I remember sitting with him on multiple occasions talking about where we wanted to be in life and what it really was that we wanted to do in the future, but there is one time I remember more vividly than any other time.
“Don’t look at me like that, you know you aren’t happy here. You know how badly you want to escape and find your happiness, stop putting it off, it won’t help anyone.” Leo said with a furrowed brow and his arms crossed., “I’m tired of seeing you so damn sad.”
I didn’t have too much to say, “It all costs so much money though, I don’t have any. I’m so fucking broke it’s killing me.” I paused and took a hit from the bong, after blowing out the smoke I coughed a bit and shook my head, “I just want to be in Oregon, I want to do what I said I was going to do. How much do train tickets cost to get there?”
He let a mischievous smile creep onto his face, “I don’t know lets go find out.” He jumped up off his roller chair and ran straight from his room to the computer desk in the kitchen, I followed in suit like I always have. “Okay, so train tickets from Santa Barbara to Portland?”
“Yes, do you think they’ll be expensive? I have a feeling they will be…”
“Shut up, just let me see.” He typed in Amtrak on the search bar and continued to fill out the ticket times and such. “Alright, ready?” without even allowing me a chance to ramble on about how I probably should wait on buying the ticket he continued on, “One way, one adult to PDX from Santa Barbara is $99.00. Lets check prices for the bus and for plane tickets as well, shall we?”
“That’s not too bad…” I couldn’t help but pep up because it was slowly becoming a reality that I wouldn’t be stuck in the hell that was Ventura, “Yeah, keep going!” I urged.
Off he went typing and searching, “$121.00 for a ticket with Alaska Airlines and $110.00 for a Greyhound bus. But the bus and train take two days… I would go with the plane ticket, to be honest.” He was right as usual, I think that was the best part, he knew he was right.
“Okay I will buy the ticket this friday when I get paid. I’ll start looking for an apartment so I don’t have to stay with Christina for too long.”
It was times like those that I loved his “had to be right attitude”, he would manage to help me climb back to Earth when I swore I couldn’t see the ground beneath me. Hell, if I was scared of a movie he would make me sit and watch it and somehow, like always he was right, I would end up liking it.
But, all of that is besides the point,