If Only You Knew that You Were Lost

by  Tugboat
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The Destruction of Youth

He was an avalanche from the start but you threw yourself in front of him. How painful it was to watch you- overcome with the cold of his being. It didn't take long for you to stop being you, and just become an extension of him. You were no longer my friend no matter how hard I tried to fight this notion. You drank from his poisoned well, and you may have well just drowned in his ocean of bullshit. Such fabricated bonds are the ones that should break at the most delicate touch. But you're not the kind of girl to let things break so easily. So you glue and glue until everything feels whole again. "Of course it won't happen again". "He loves me I, know he does". "I can't live without him". If only you knew you had stopped living three years ago when you got into this mess. You thought it would be so simple- but old friend, it's not that easy. He's a boy with such tricks to play on the woman he is so desperately enamored with. He needs you, more than you would ever need him. But it's the need that keeps you here, down in the depths of hell. You hold yourself responsible for him, instead of letting him try to get back above the surface on his own. You're his everything, quite literally- and he's become yours. Your heartbeat, your logic, your soul, the only reason anything makes sense. He's all that, and you became nothing- withered away by his destruction.

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