Price of Happiness

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In this void, I am empty;

Drained of hope and feeling.

How many times have I said "Hello"?

And why do I feel like always

saying "Goodbye"?

Every time the tingle of love

and faith rolls over these aging bones,

That voice that says "Walk away..

Before it's too late."

Rings through my soul.

My jaw aches under the weight

of the words I wish I could say.

But I sew my tongue to the roof

of my mouth, saving who

I hold dear from the truth.

To protect what I've found,

I must sacrifice my own feelings;

To keep talking, I must shut myself off.

I hate the jealousy it brings....

It does not sit well at all.

My shoulders begin to bow.

This deception pains me,

But telling the truth would hurt her worse.

Why is it that caring like I do

causes a knife through my chest,

A tear on my face, and a knot in my thoat?

Three words, so hard to say,

I'll write them here,

Hoping to say them someday;

"I love you."

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