I am still nothing more than a Teddy Bear

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I wander the city streets under the full moon's bright grasp,

But the cold wind doesn't even touch my hair.

I'm so lonely and all I can think is that

I wish you were here so I could feel you breathe.

I search this place for the feeling I got from your soul,

But you live outside my realm now.

Nothing tangible; no skin and bone, nothing at all.

You seem so distant. Why did you leave?

You haunt my dreams. I can't sleep without

Seeing your face, or hearing you laugh.

 

I worshipped the ground you walked on. I held you when you were your sickest.

When you tried to bleed out, I squeezed the tourniquet tight. When I swallowed all the pills

I could find, you forced your hand down my throat, and held my hair while you did it.

Whenever I broke down inside and couldn't handle life, you would hold my head in your arms

While I cried, slowly rocking back and forth, whispering that everything would be alright.

And I can still feel your fingernails clawing bright rivers in my shoulders as we held each other

During those sleepless nights where we never seemed to get any rest, but always felt better

about who we were the next morning.

 

You know I loved you.

We were so close.

We laughed and lived in our own little world, waiting for everything to unfurl.

We stretched ourselves way to thin, though.

We let everyone else tell us what to be and why we shouldn't love each other.

 

 

 

And then you walked away.

 

You walked away without a backwards glance.

 

You left like the wind during the calm. You left me like a child leaves an old, used toy for a

new shiny one. You left me like a lame horse, but without the mercy of the shotgun.

You left me like my breath did when I found you were gone.

You left me without the light of day, without a Sun, without a star in the darkness,

Nothing to brighten my dismal parade towards death, nothing but the empty hollow feeling

I had when we met.

 

I guess I didn't get very lucky, now, did I?

 

Losing everything that made my world liveable in a matter of moments, the ceiling collapsing

Upon my head as I sat and stared blankly at the devastation all around me, yet somehow

It paled in comparison to the destruction you left inside of me.

To say I am falling apart without your support to hold me up doesn't do justice to the truth of

the matter, as I am as empty as a sieve, laying here like a fallen tent.

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