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Science Of Myself (or) Things I know About Myself

Sara Cohen

 

I wonder if I could count all the grains of sand on the beach

I picture how the miniscule rocks would slip easily through the gaping holes between my tiny fingers and I remember that I cannot understand everything I touch.

The ocean is miles deep and the sky is miles high

and I find myself worrying about inches around my waist.

A planet is a million times bigger than anything I will ever be and I feel a million times smaller than anything you will ever be.

The universe is endless

I am not.

I am built from stars

my flaws transform my DNA into a mediocre equation to create a mess of anatomy.

I am a black hole.

I defy basic laws of our universe that humans have created to avoid putting faith in a god we long to trust.

I wonder if my fears say more about myself than my accomplishments.

There are creatures that no one will ever see and I am here lying in my bed thinking i am worth something

I am worthless and full of life and sometimes I feel the need to apologize.

My DNA is a an unachieveable recipe for a dish i can't imagine anyone wanting to eat

My skin is saturated with stars and dirt and unfulfilled promises.

I think before I speak

and after I speak

and when I’m awake at 3am.

An electron is a piece of energy and light.

Math is relative.

I am using my energy thinking about science tests and english essays and how much space I occupy.

I remind myself that personality cannot be quantified by numbers and my weight depends on gravity.

It’s my fault that I want to cry.

Faults carress my body causing earthquakes as the tectonic plates of my flesh collide with my constant stream of apologies.

I am a juicy paradox full of contradiction and contemplation.

Dont try to fix me.

A mosaic is a mix of broken pieces but doesn’t need to be fixed.

Align me so I complete a picture.

Don’t glue me together.

Don’t patch my skin so you can run you hand over smooth flesh.

I know i believe in science

and science does not believe in me.

 

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